Founder's Vision

Spring, 1978 - Alverna Retreat Center, Indianapolis

Five visions were given to me by the grace of Jesus over a seven-year period, beginning in 1971 and continuing until the present year of 1978. Perhaps, more perceptions and insights are to come — perhaps not. But ever since my ex-wife’s remarriage, I’ve felt a growing confusion and have recently given my life in Christ a great deal of thought.

These five visions seem to sum up the new vocation Jesus is calling me to; they have been planted deeply in my heart, and I can’t stop thinking and writing about them.

The first vision was a vivid picture of an agrarian community of prayer. The second concerned an apostolate of poverty. The third emerged during my divorce and took the form of a strong sense of assurance through scripture about the apostolate of poverty. The fourth was a clear call from Jesus to enter the Catholic Church. And the fifth vision was of a tattered habit. An examination of these personal revelations may shed light on the vocation to which Jesus is calling me.

The first vision came one night during prayer, and it was as if Jesus were painting a beautiful picture of a Christian community right before my eyes. It was the most harmonious painting I have ever beheld, for it was filled with love and peace. Selfless love and unity characterized every aspect of this community of Jesus’ followers, both in their dealings with one another and with nature. In this vision, all of creation was reconciled to the way of Jesus; his followers not only spoke of His way; they also lived it.

The Spirit of Jesus filled each member of this contemplative community. Jesus and the ethic of His cross was living personally in each of their lives. The same Jesus who taught and lived out love for mankind as no man had done before, who walked the face of this earth two thousand years ago in humility, poverty, meekness and gentleness, who died so that all mankind could live … this same Jesus was resurrected in their hearts so that His love and His life could continue through their lives. Every moment and every action became a sacred and spiritual event in which Jesus graced their being by His presence through His Holy Spirit. This community knew true contemplative peace, for they knew the living presence of Jesus that stirred up in their hearts a continual attitude of solitude, silence and worship.

Because of this love for Jesus, all the members of this community shared all things in common. Each member gladly embraced the poverty of Jesus so that others could embrace the wealth of Jesus. Each gave so that others could receive. Consequently, all basic needs were met in the community, and the living love of Jesus was manifested there so that all the world could see that “He is risen.”

The love of Jesus also blessed the community’s relationship with nature. In supplying the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter and energy, the well-being of nature was always protected by looking to God’s guiding truth as revealed in scripture and nature itself. The way of the cross was always following in trying to reconcile creation, ravaged by man, back to the tender love of Jesus.

The community members themselves produced most of the food they shared. They were tillers of the soil and keepers of the garden. They kept lovely fields, orchards, and vineyards, using hand tools and small machinery. They worked hard, but stayed healthy with a combination of exercise and plenty of natural food. They gathered and hunted in the forests that they were careful to preserve between agricultural fields. They kept flocks and herds of domestic animals, which they watched with care and compassion so as not to take the joy of life from them. In this way, the community followed God’s original ordination for man: to till and keep the sacred garden.

Their clothing was humble, simple and practical. Made from natural sources, it became the outer sign and reminder of an inner spirit of poverty. They did not dress vainly to impress others. They simply dressed to cover nakedness, both for the sake of protection from heat and cold, and for the sake of avoiding any stumbling into lust. Styles were tailored for flexibility in circumstance, but fairly uniform so as not to give occasion to pride. In all, the clothing produced by the community manifested the way of Jesus’ humility and poverty in every stitch.

Shelter was also simple and practical, the style of architecture lending itself to an efficient use of material, space, and energy, as well as to purpose. Most homes were made of rock, wood and earth, and I presume were mostly underground, for I could see only small rounded enclosures which were above-ground that served as an entrance.

Energy sources were used in harmony with the way of the cross concerning man’s kinship with nature. Most sources were non-polluting and easily replenishable, thus ensuring a long-lived relationship of balance and harmony between man and nature. Energy was used mainly for cooking, heating and some lighting, since energy sources were needed for little else in life.

The entertainment for the community could be described by one all inclusive word: worship. Seeing the experience of the cross living in all things, community members became as dead men so that Jesus could live. Thus, and in all things, the Creator of all life graced them with a marvelous gratitude for life. Dead men are indeed thankful for new life! These Christians could live every waking moment in wonder and thanksgiving for their new life in Jesus, seeing that they had all died with Jesus in their baptism. It was through this attitude of continual worship that everyday occurrences and jobs were transformed into miraculous wonders of life. So, in a worship that included contemplative private prayer, the liturgy, recreation, and the physical work of the community, each member was entertained beyond imagination. Worship was the life of this contemplative community. 

It was this first vision that urged me to a contemplative community of prayer, a community of peaceful unity and harmony, a community of everlasting love. Jesus has called me to this kind of community and only He can make it a reality in my life, for the love of Jesus and the weight of His cross is this community’s source of life. 

The second vision, given again during prayer, called me to an apostolate of poverty among the churches of Jesus. I saw myself in a brown, coarse garment resembling a habit and walking on foot from church to church to share the simple love Jesus. The message of the apostolate was not the important part of his vision, but rather the mode of the apostolate. In this vision, Jesus called me to a ministry that did not depend on anything other than two legs and a voice to bring his message to the world. Being free from huge expenses, this apostolate was offered to the world as a gift of grace, just as Jesus did. Only poverty allows the freedom to bring the wealth of Jesus without charge.

In the third revelation, Jesus assured me through scripture that although I would lose my home, my wife, my child, and my property, He would grant me the wealth of the kingdom, the family of the saints, and the home of my spiritual mansion if I would undertake this apostolate of faith and poverty to share His love with the world. To this day, I still seek to accomplish this in a better way. It is the core of the gospel message; to it, I can only respond, "so be it.”

The fourth vision came at a time when I was seeking a unified Christian church for a new spiritual home. I sought — and found — a church where we could share the way of the cross in a way of unity based on that which Jesus had ordained. In this vision, Jesus called me to enter the Roman Catholic Church, a church I used to attack. He simply said, “This is my first church. She has been sick near death, but I am raising her to new life through my spirit.”

I was to find Him as a church the remnants of mystical devotion to the cross of our Lord Jesus existing without compromise. I would discover an ordained, governmental structure capable of housing our spiritual unity in Jesus. Certainly, I still saw infallibility and gross error in her history, for she is made up of imperfect men and women. But I also saw in her the potential for an indelible and sometimes infallible spiritual structural unity that could manifest the way of the cross to our world. Through study, I learned that this unity of spirit and structure based on the love of Jesus has been infallibly promised to the church by Jesus himself, and it can come to pass only in an apostolic structure ordained by Jesus. I found the Catholic Church to be that structure.

The fifth perception came at a time when I was considering the similarity between my call to win an agrarian prayer community and an active apostolate of poverty within certain of the religious orders already existing in the church of Jesus. I saw a striking similarity of spirit and action between the visions of Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint John of the Cross, Saint Benedict, and Thomas a Kempis, and my own vocational call from Jesus. Granted, many of those orders no longer resemble the visions of the man who is names they pair, but most continue, at least, in charity, which is the greatest gift, and some are still faithful to their original visions.

So it was at this time that the fifth vision came, calling me to the religious life. An angel simply came during night prayers and extended that familiar, old, tattered, and torn religious habit to me. It did not resemble the many habits worn today simply for pious show. This habit that was to be worn by one too poor to have anything better to wear. It was to be worn as an outer sign of an inner and practical condition — a spiritual and physical poverty. It was a call to the cross of Jesus. To this day, I have yet to respond totally, but the day will come when I will say "so be it.”

It is to these vocational calls by Jesus that I now seek to respond. I seek a Christian community that manifests the way of the cross in all areas of life; a Catholic-oriented community of prayer and worship; a community of selfless-love in dealing socially with one another and the world; a community that revers nature and follows God's plan and taking what is needed from her; a community that allows each person the solitude to be with Jesus; a community of communication that allows each person the silence to hear the word of Jesus in his heart; a community of stability that is a home to its members, yet is balanced enough to allow them to follow Jesus in his apostolic mission to the world; a community of poverty that offers the wealth of a life in the spirit of Jesus; a community of mystical death that offer is eternal life in Jesus, the giver of life. 

I seek this community within the context of existing community structure. I understand the idealistic nature of my call but I also realize that patience and obedience can make the vision and call more realistic in practical application. I feel I should learn from and be willing to submit to an existing structure before God who will allow my vocation to be uniquely realized. I seek to temper my idealism with practical application, and to strengthen my future by learning from the wisdom of the past.

— excerpts from Changes: a spiritual journal (1993)